Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
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incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Panties = found
Randomize