I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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