Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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