Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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