I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
