i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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