this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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