Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
did i walk over a car last night?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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