FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
