Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
