I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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