Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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