so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
