I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
