We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
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masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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