Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
