are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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