I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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