I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
