people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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