I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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