Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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