I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
