Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
