I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
