You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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