And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize