Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This house was built for laser tag.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
