god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
