I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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