help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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