I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
