Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
