Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
