You're earring is so big in my mouth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
