I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
