Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize