So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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