People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Too much gin, very little bucket
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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