Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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