all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize