That's intense
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
