afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
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Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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