grandma shit on top of the toilet
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
