YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
