I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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