So drunk its hurt
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
