??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
time to smoke my breakfast
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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