Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
