Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
