At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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