the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My pussy is not your playground.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
