i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
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the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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