Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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