I look better un-naked...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
