dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
