We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
